AVOID Stillpoint Lodge in Halibut Cove, Alaska!

Hey guys!

I know it's been a few years, and as usual, I haven't been blogging, but it's time to come out of my hiatus to post the one place that I HOPE will reach the message better than ANY ratings site that StillPoint Lodge actively tried to hide...

It's removed from Yelp and TripAdvisor trying to slander me as if I'm a competing company (see 2 paragraphs down), shadowbanned from Google (I couldn't find it just looking it up through incognito, but still up if I login with the same account I used for posting the review, and blocked from Facebook. However, I'm hoping that this blog post still stands and even shows up in major search engines to expose these shysters. If I can steer one tourist away from renting an overpriced log cabin and Kirkland Signature amenities, I'm happier to count that as my biggest achievement and contribution to society.

Again, to any attorney, Stillpoint rep, or whoever is reading this blog, this is my complete, with receipts and video proof proving that I was a CUSTOMER and NEVER worked for Stillpoint Lodge or ANY job in the hospitality industry. Even if it means pissing away my savings and going flat broke, I'd rather starve in the streets than to even be the CTO/CIO of a hospitality company offering me tens of thousands of dollars to work for them, just to prove that I have no intent to work for a company even remotely competing with Stillpoint... Just so when I'm pushing 55 years old, some lawyer can't come in and say "well, you work for [insert hotel group name] now, remember the review you made for Stillpoint Lodge 18 years ago? Now I can prove you're biased!". I'm THAT serious about proving my integrity with my review with these shady so-called people.

Here's the full review I posted, but also expanded on with more information to make it more "bloggy":

My experience here has been a rollercoaster ride, seeing both the Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde side of JT Thurston, the owner. I was only able to record a small part, but I believe it sufficiently exposes them (video link at bottom) If I was able to perform my duties on public land I doubt we'd even cross paths, but most of the test area was on resort property.


Now, I have been an RF Engineer since November 2019 to present at the time of writing this blog post, and I had a brief stint doing an FCC-mandated test for an Alaskan wireless carrier; it was a temp job, and if anything (to preemptively quell any notions that I've been fired or whatever), I've been there the longest before all the areas that needed to be tested were ended since my staffing agency has commended me as one of the more skillful testers due to my extensive IT background, I am still employed by the agency, and I'm still a candidate for the next time my services are needed with said wireless carrier.

The FCC would give us a grid to test (I'm guessing a 1 mile by 1 mile square; I never measured it), and if it passes, great. If there's any hint of a connectivity issue, we either have to retest it if it's passing by a hair, or report that we can't get it to pass at all if it doesn't, which would mean that the carrier is either mandated to fix the problem, or pay a hefty fine, which some insider info did mention the worst-case scenario was multiple 7 figures for the entire project, so we were given carte blanche to charge as much as we wanted to, even at prices considered extortion to anybody from the continental US (e.g. $160 for the worst hotel I've ever stayed at in Anchorage (Chelsea Inn), 3 fairly basic meals for $100 in Old Harbor (including a ham sandwich, although to be fair it was pretty good), $125 to rent a '92 Ford F-150 with a severe vacuum leak for 5 hours in Kotzebue, or in this case, $700 to just ride an ATV or a boat ride for half an hour with Stillpoint - receipt below).

I gave JT the MOST exhaustive description of my work that I've EVER given to ANYBODY in my ENTIRE career from my first job when I was 15 all the way to present, and I've ran it all down in advance, and he was lucky to get it since either the employee directory was either horribly outdated (one village rep even passed away almost half a year prior), or ironically, 2 villages can't even make or receive calls outside the service area and I can't reach anybody, so I've had to make an unannounced stop and wing it with at least 5 tests... No reservations, no warning, just flying into say, Point Hope and hoping the locals would either find a way to contact the local representative, or let me borrow/rent their car or ATV on blind trust and creative problem solving; I even almost rode in the back of a police car in some town near Kodiak (forgot which one) to do my testing.

However, most of the testing grounds were on private land; if there had been even 10 square feet of public land for both grids I had to test, I'd rather run in circles on that 10 square feet than to even cross paths with anybody, but I had no choice but to deal with JT, especially considering that since there's no public land left on Halibut Cove; even their "post office" is a boat for that reason.

Once he (I can't stress this enough) FINALLY understood what I was doing, he practically sang to me about staying there and enjoying their amenities. Now since I'm used to working for the cheapest bastards on planet earth where I've had to fly on Spirit Airlines despite being willing to pay the difference, or drive 5 hours a day for a week in a cramped and underpowered 78 horsepower Mitsubishi Mirage, not to mention everybody loves an employee that stays under budget (despite the fact that I had so much expenses giving that company so many interest-free loans, 2 of my personal credit cards raised their credit limit by $11K, and I have enough rewards points on my Chase Sapphire card to pay for 2 nights at Stillpoint... That I'm going to use for paying for a week at The Maldives; I like tropical beaches better anyway; I probably would've come back here strictly for vacation, but soz, you guys lost a potential customer by being total assholes), so I only paid for the bare minimum with Stillpoint unless I had to retest.

With that in mind, I did specifically verbally mention I'd only stay the night if it failed*, and it's standard policy to retest at 6-8 AM the next day* to rule out network congestion (e.g. if there are a large amount of people using the network and there's not enough backhaul, it'll slow EVERYBODY down).

Sure enough, after riding an ATV in circles and making several circles through the waters both tests failed, and I did tell JT that I'm going to check out of my preexisting hotel in Homer (King's Landing) to return the next day, especially since I was completely unpacked since I did other tests in the Homer, AK region, had confidential documents on the desk (it's not anything that'd need a government clearance, but I could have my job on the line if someone else saw it), my unlocked .45 with a match-grade trigger in a drawer of the nightstand for self defense against bears or crackheads that I'd prefer nobody else touch, and I was due to check out the next morning anyway. Had JT not offered me a night at Stillpoint, I would've just extended my hotel stay at King's Landing for another night or two and took the water taxi to and from the island, or even just double-book for a vacant bed at King's Landing and stayed at the island despite it being a waste of money.

Since I chose to stay, I was even making plans for the next water taxi inbound to Halibut Cove with another employee within earshot of JT*, and even reiterated to JT that I was checking out of King's Landing to come to Stillpoint*. Although I do accept fault for not making it SO explicitly clear that a 3 year-old would understand it, apparently the 4 clues I've indicated by asterisks weren't enough for him to understand.

When I returned the next morning, JT was absolutely livid and hostile, even going as far as lying to Zach (sp?), the general manager that I didn't tell him I planned to return at all, and going back on everything we've agreed to as if it never happened...

It was also sad yet hilarious to see him vacillate between demanding I leave ASAP (even going as far as demanding I call a water taxi on speakerphone) and allowing me to stay on extortionary terms (e.g. allowing me to stay in crew's quarters, but no amenities for the same price as a full cabin)... I decided to leave out of disgust and let someone else handle this territory.

Although having me tag along in a luxury yacht was the most fun I've had in a while it's only changing my review from "negative stars if I could" to the 1-star you'd probably see on reviews, but as mentioned, they manipulated their reviews to keep any bad press away instead of admitting their mistakes with integrity.

EDITED TO ADD to a review: A business that operates with integrity accepts criticism and right their wrongs, not silence their dissenters; I hope Stillpoint Lodge's reply reinforces their lack of values fact loud and clear, which instead of "[hoping] that I choose to delete it [myself]", I will do the opposite and further expose their corrupt ways. As mentioned in my previous review (which they most likely haven't thoroughly read and understood... I'm seeing a trend), I've made many thorough outlines of my scope of work via many long phone calls, texts, and conversations over many days.

In hindsight, given their reply, I'm more inclined to believe that they're feigning ignorance and/or acting out of malice and perhaps even prejudice; I gave JT the benefit of the doubt, but further reflection dictates it's nearly impossible to misconstrue my intentions since I've expressed/implied minimum 4x that I'd be back (whereby my only culpability was that I didn't make it any clearer), and even then, a reasonable person would've figured it out instead of being hostile, belligerent and adamant about removing me, which is why I wrote the initial review, yet they still the nerve to claim my "response was unprofessional".

I've never claimed to be a guest, nor given their demeanor, would've been anyway. It would've been great to stay and enjoy the amenities instead of my coworker (though he doesn't really like seafood), but it's not within my morals & ethics to knowingly do business with racketeers who at one point, wanted to charge me a full rate to work for 4-5 hours (on video below). By the way, you never "provided" a water taxi; I paid for both days with my personal credit card (not even my work's) -- first day was a hyperinflated, price-gouging $700 that I still have the receipt of, and about $40 each way the next day via an unaffiliated 3rd-party water taxi.

To anyone else reading this, as you can see by the video below, they don't deserve your business; there are plenty of better resorts in Alaska that [hopefully] genuinely operate in a fair and equitable manner. While trying to look them up for the Better Business Bureau, it seems that the people that HAVE worked there are actually miserable about their lack of professionalism and even refusing to grant days off on Glassdoor and Indeed.

Video of my encounter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDJ0dFBSv6g

Say something, I'm giving up on you.

California, we need to talk… It’s not you, it’s me.

Scratch that, actually it WAS you.

It was you who decided to make housing costs unbearably high. My ROOM went up to $900 per month, when you can find an APARTMENT for that price or lower in most other states.. Also, your housing prices and property taxes are already pretty damned high, and your dubious plans to further increase taxes and put homeownership further out of reach is simply unacceptable.

It was you who decided to charge among the highest fees, taxes, fines, penalties, that as a consequence, increased cost-of-living. Case in point? The gas tax! Except for Cheyenne, WY and rural Alabama, the roads in the 10 other states I've driven in for the past few months are in good condition, but despite having the highest road taxes in the nation, your roads are HORRIBLE... But then you also repeatedly promised that your latest tax hike will fully go towards fixing the roads, but it STILL got diverted against our wishes to the high-speed rail to nowhere, and I don't doubt that some of it is still going to your corrupt comrade's pockets. When I must part with my hard-earned pay, I want it put to good use. I mean, why would I willingly want to buy a new laptop that doesn't even power on, or spend it dating someone I have no future with whatsoever?

It was you who decided that when an antisocial neighbor threatened my life over his own wild assumptions, you made it almost impossible for me to defend myself by punishing law-abiding citizens for the actions of scofflaws... Isn't it enough that murder, robbery, and whatnot is already against the law? What am I supposed to do if he actually attacks me... Kiss him on the forehead, let him into my home and offer him a cup of tea? (Hint: The very constitutional law I’m talking about specifically says “shall not be infringed”. What part of that don't you understand?)

Last but not least, as the saying goes: “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”, I understand you wanna stick up for the little guy doing Uber, Lyft, and Doordash gigs, but instead of directly helping them, you've decided to screw over just about everybody else that isn't working a W-2... I am one of them. I've made the most money I’ve ever made in over 10 years, I finally have a savings account, I'll be debt-free by next month, and I can pay back people I owe money to in just a few short weeks after that (sorry, I haven’t forgotten about you). However, Assembly Bill 5 is a death sentence to me and other 1099 contractors, and I will NOT tolerate any attempts to outlaw my honest, hard-earned pay.

All in all, if I were to stay with you, life would be extremely difficult, if not impossible, and unless you get Gavin Newsom and his corrupt comrades out of office, things aren't gonna get any better. Also, I know that given supply and demand, I don't foresee housing prices and cost-of-living to go down anytime soon. I'll probably visit family, friends, return for business, or take my future kids to Disneyland or whatever, but even then that's a stretch; even when I'd become a multimillionaire, you've harmed yourself way too much for me to ever live in CA again.

My experience is not alone; more Americans have moved out of CA than those that have moved in, and Newsom is even patting himself on the back despite ruining CA like a deranged narcissist. What's wrong with you? I know that you’re probably not gonna listen to me, but I hope this serves as one of many wake up calls; you've turned CA into an almost irreconcilable disaster by digging your own grave, and you have nobody to blame but you and your corrupt comrades.

What was once a great, beautiful state that was ACTUALLY the envy of the nation that I used to proudly call my hometown has now become a laughingstock and embarrassment, and I don’t want people to know that I was associated with you unless it's absolutely necessary... I had to haul ass and rent a Chevy Equinox (the only SUV the rental agency had left at $169.51, vs. U-Haul at $2,040 where the pricing is abundantly clear that there's a huge gap between supply and demand), on Christmas break (Dec. 21-26 and yes, I was driving to Idaho on Christmas Day) to make it here, and I had to pull a lot of strings to establish Idaho residency, get an Idaho driver's license and plates, change my phone number to a 208 area code, and even ditch an email I've had for 20 years simply because it has 818 (my hometown area code) in it.

 

I hope that you are satisfied with your inconsiderate choices that have doomed myself and a lot of other Californians.

Until then, farewell.

Shampoo Shenanigans

Since Facebook allowed for longer posts, I rarely made blog posts, but now I should begin again since this is not worth boring my FB friends over...

As some of you may have heard, California just passed AB1162, which bans the use of plastic bottles for shampoo and whatnot in hotels. Although there’s no such restriction here in Alabama (I'm here on business, I didn't move here), they use packets, and it may be a sign of what’s to come if you plan to go to CA. Please allow me to give you a comparison:

Plastic bottles:

1. Unscrew cap.
2. Rinse, wash, repeat.
3. DONE.

Packet:

1. Try to tear it open with wet hands. No dice.
2. Thoroughly dry hands and try again. No dice.
3. Try to tear open with teeth, hoping you won’t ingest some of the shampoo. Luckily in this case, it still won’t open.
4. Walk out to where your pants are while dripping wet to try to get your pocket knife.
5. Realize you left your pocket knife in your car, defeatedly march back and finish the rest of your shower.
6. Get dressed and go to the car.
7. Spent a few minutes searching the car and cut open packet.
8. Wash hair, squeeze out a bit too much since this is not an interface that you’re used to, but try to make due and wash hair a bit too lathered. Repeat with what little shampoo is left if needed.
9. Remember that you walked out of the bathroom and got the floor wet, dry hotel room floor with a towel.
10. Not wanting to be held liable for dirtying the towel, awkwardly hand-wash the dirt the towel picked up soap bar that is all flimsy by now.
11. (Really?) DONE.

Still not convinced?

• Plastic bottles can be reused, like if I’m feeling cheap, I can just take the bottle and go to Motel 6 or even certain Extended Stay America locations, which as some of us know, you have to ask for shampoo. When you’re tired, it’s one more thing to remember if you do remember, or a walk back to the front desk to ask for it if you don't.
• Since there’s slim pickings for travel-sized body wash/shampoo, it’s hard to get the style you want, even the high-end organic stuff I use, so it’s either I awkwardly funnel some body wash/shampoo into the damned TSA-approved 3 oz. bottles (which I already used up, being on the road for almost 2 months and all) before leaving, or like what I’ve seen plenty of times: Buy a standard-sized bottle, then discard it upon flying out. Bureaucrats, if you haven’t figured out the latter yet, but this is creating MORE waste with a bigger plastic bottle AND a larger portion of whatever unused product is in the bottle, so we’ve regressed beyond square one (square… -5?).
• STILL have plastic waste, just in a different form. At least with a plastic bottle, you have a solid bottle that’s easier to discard. A packet, if it’s going to be an environmental concern, is more conducive to disrupting the ecosystem, and if this is intended to prevent animals from ingesting it, a flexible packet is much easier to ingest than a rigid bottle!

All in all, don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Toxic Parents (well, mom)

IMPORTANT: Since I have only recently shared this in bits and pieces, I sincerely believe letting it all out would be therapeutic. However, since my dad was a writer and I am very close to having my works published (albeit as a hobby, not a career), forgive me for being long-winded and spilling my life story. *EDIT* I have kinda condensed it.

So, about 4 months ago (that's how busy I've been, but thanks to a layoff I finally found the time to finish this memoir of sorts), I had I found this article my friend who has an NMom posted on Facebook, and I'm trying my hardest not to cry, even though I'm 30 years old (at the time of writing in May 2016) and more hardened than reinforced titanium by all the bullcrap I had to put up with in my life, only because everything is SO frickin' true it hurts to even read it...

5 Reasons You Shouldn't Feel Bad About Not Talking To Toxic Parents | Bustle

Well, where do I begin? The details of my life are quite inconsequential... My childhood was quite typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we made meat helmets, and at the age of 14 my nards were ritually shaven by a Zoroastrian named Vilma -- Crap, I'm paraphrasing Dr. Evil.

Anyway, aside from the lame attempt at dispelling the tension of this post with a joke, here is all the main nuances, and the sole reasons I am posting this are:

1. I am sick of running this story top to bottom every time someone wants me to reunite with my mom since it hurts to recount it (and sometimes they are STILL convinced I should still make an effort to be close to her or ignore everything I said and share my contact information with her... Thank God for Google Voice and 2 GMail accounts (so that I can change my number "for free"), and
2. I am NEITHER inviting myself to trolling, flaming, or negative attention, NOR positive reinforcement. I am just simply writing an open blog post (and /r/raisedbynarcissists on Reddit) about narcissistic parenting at its finest. Or worst. Whatever. However, it is kinda therapy for me to rant about it too... But when I can't help but feel worried whenever she is near me, or having to be suspicious of her motives whenever she does something nice for me, I KNOW there's a problem, and I can't be the only one that feels this way. I mean, I'm sure there is, but still.

If you still aren't convinced, my mom does EVERY SINGLE THING in this article, ESPECIALLY points 1 (she even compared me to my aunt's dog), 2 (MANY examples below), 5 (I've been fixing computers since I was 15 and had a successful business, yet still call Geek Squad), 6, 7 (see XX below), 8, 14, and 23.

1. Even starting with my dad (who my grandmother claimed he has been less resilient ever since marrying my mom), my mom manipulated him into marrying her early. He's a strong man for the most part, but my mom knew how to exploit him AND have me in order to keep him. My mom is an evil genius; my IQ is 132 and hers is [anecdotally speaking] probably higher; I swear if she put her wits to help people instead of being able to connive people and stay 10 steps ahead of them, I swear, she'd be a millionaire.
   
2. The previously well-hidden Cluster B side starts to emerge. When I was still a toddler, my mom was arguing about something unrelated to me and slit my wrist and neck, then blackmailed my dad (her 2nd favorite trick) into not telling the authorities, but further reinforced it by scratching her own chest and saying that my grandmother tried to come after her and had her detained for a few days.
   
3. How inattentive was she? I had a seizure when I was 5 or so, but she told me to "quit squirming". My dad was in the car (or how I knew was that he recounted it to me) and said it looked like a seizure and to take me to the hospital, but she was adamant about not going.
   
4. When I was about 6 or 7, my dad got so upset with my mom, he was saying his final goodbyes and getting ready to commit suicide, and given a bunch of other mini-stories, I'm surprised he made it this long. However, his friend encouraged him to take my mom to see a psychologist (a big name in San Francisco... My dad showed me the papers but I have no idea where he stashed it or even if he kept it), but arranged it all to look like marriage counseling.
   
   His official diagnosis to my dad was: "Mr W_______: Through my 30 years of performing marriage counseling, my job is to keep couples together. However, as your wife is highly antisocial and has the worst case of passive-aggressiveness I've ever seen, this is a rare case where I think that divorce should do you a lot of good." and proceeded to tell him that she even threw silent treatments (her trademark move) at him.
   
5. At around that divorce, my mom argued with my dad daily and blamed him for everything, even things beyond his control (such as the failure of her restaurant... My dad was employed as a jeweler and made no business decisions). I raised myself on Top Ramen and a water boiler since neither parent cooked when they were pissed.
   
   The arguments got so bad, my dad actually slept in my room and locked the door; I didn't learn until I was 16 that it was supposed to be my own room. Why? my mom actually tried to kill him in his sleep and he didn't feel safe on the couch or sleeping next to her. The divorce was finalized around March 1993, where I was taken to Taiwan to "visit" my grandparents and "would be back soon", along with many false promises.
   
6. That "visit" turned into 4.5 years, where I enrolled in the local schools (instead of a school for expatriates) and started a few months in kindergarten [at 7 years old] for several months to grasp Mandarin phonetics, then skipping my way through elementary school until I was at the grade I needed to be; K-6 in 4.5 years. Of course, since I have Caucasian heritage, I was picked on. A LOT. I was even almost raped by a broomstick. Worst of all, if I wasn't wearing synthetic school uniform where I'm sweating like a pig all day, she buys the cheapest clothes possible, even if it looked gaudy (I even had a pair of pants that looked like it was for girls since it had a cartooned fox and letters embroidered down the legs).
   
   I still suffer self-esteem issues even despite having attended therapy, though not as bad; I used to only have 7 friends at 25 years old, but still haven't so much as had my first kiss until I was 27.
   
   Anyway, I was still abused by her; never mind the fact that corporal punishment was fully legal in Taiwan at the time, and I would get beat or silent-treated for the most ridiculous reasons, like for things as small as concentrating on my homework when the trash needed to get taken out to not finding the operating hours of a theme park attraction when it was a safety disclaimer (even after her friend verified it, she still didn't talk to me for a week).
   
7. Fast forward to around 20 years old: My mom visited on VERY short notice (she called on Friday demanding I pick her up from the airport Monday... Long story short, the boss didn't believe me and I got fired). I was renting my friend's room for $400 a month (in suburban LA, that's dirt cheap, but she thought it was "ridiculously exorbitant"; all similar rooms with a private bath were EASILY $600 a month).
   
   So, she learns the hard way that rooms ARE that expensive, but she'd rather be right than rational and still rents a room that is actually slightly worse for $550 a month; the landlord was a cheapskate that refused to fix anything. Then she blackmails me into moving there, stole my phone, and had her friend pull up with a U-Haul when I didn't comply. Then eluding common sense, she demands to go back to the old house to see what I need for the new house (which was immediately apparent was a "compliance check" since her method didn't make any sense). This time, she starts an argument when I even raised ONE objection, and I eventually started driving there in dead silence...
   
   She then pulls the door open on a leftward curve (which almost ripped the door off due to centrifugal force... Remember, she's a smart one) on the freeway and tries to jump out; had I never swung towards the shoulder and even broke the window's glass since it slammed shut so hard, she would've died. She didn't even want to buy a replacement window for the car and blamed ME for getting HER upset!
   
8. Eventually, I decided to go back to school, but I did computer consulting on the side AND took a job at a logistics company, or the busiest time in my life.
   
   Guess what? My mom decides to make another surprise visit dead in the middle of March (when I JUST finished filing my taxes), and insisted on staying with me again! YAY!
   
   So, she has a habit of trying to clean stuff, but she likes to put it in a completely different location so that you can't find anything, of course she doesn't know what it is that you're trying to look for when you try to find it, and worst of all, she arbitrarily decides what's worth keeping, what's not and even what to steal (yes, she does steal from me), such as a gift your dead friend gives you, the key to your first car, and most frustratingly, a good handful of my consulting receipts and contracts... ALL WITHOUT ASKING ME, AND I specifically told her to leave my home office's paperwork alone!
   
   Even more fun? a few days later, she tells me she's getting groceries while I was still asleep, so I didn't think to ask her for the work's gate key, then I had to play hell jumping the gate since the boss didn't have a spare key... It's an entertaining story; feel free to ask how it all went down.
   
   Worst of all, later that year? I got sued for a client's gross negligence (which if I could find the contract and waiver, I can prove I warned him about the water damage and his signature releasing my liability) AND I got audited, and I'm willing to bet all $21,000 in judgments and tax penalties that the missing receipts and contract could've saved me every penny. My mom had $250K in the bank and another huge retirement fund, but did she bother to lift a finger to at least partially help with my losses or even apologize for draining my life savings? HELL NO. "It's your fault for not filing everything"... I almost bought a plane ticket solely for the pleasure of strangling her.
   
9. So, my life recovers more than well enough in 2010, mostly spent in non-contact, but giving the occasional call at the wost time: Sunday morning at 7AM when I was often out until 3AM, and despite suggesting Sunday afternoon when it's her late morning and my time afternoon when I'm not doing anything, she doesn't go for it, so I'm having to spend half an hour on the phone half-asleep ... After spending thousands in what is classified as high-intensity therapy where I've expelled my inner demons and learned leadership skills, my business went from scraping to SOARING... I can finally afford everything I wanted, even starting to date after having self-confidence issues, life was awesome... Or so I thought.
   
   At the peak of everything, she waited an entire month before telling me she came back to the US, despite having the phone number and addresses of both my new house (for a housewarming gift she never got me) and business... Her friend's mom had Alzheimer's and they hired her to help with household duties and helping their mom around...
   
   However, despite clearing out my ONLY day off for her, she still thought it was not enough. When she got let go since her patient became vegetative, she didn't let me know... She not only "forgot I had an alarm" (after I armed/disarmed the house every time she came over), part of it is my fault: I forgot to tell her my buddy left his Rottweiler with me since he had go out of town for 2 weeks... Had I not been rounding the corner, my mom would've gotten arrested since the police came shortly after. If she didn't run back outside after tripping the alarm, she would've become Harley's dinner. Mother is smart when she needs to be, but incredibly naive otherwise.
   
   Anyway, after becoming a reluctant host to my mom and now spending almost ALL my free time with her, is that still enough? Apparently not... One of my friends started falling for me... But then my mom suddenly decides to time trips just right to come between us... San Francisco one day, Vegas the other, then suddenly buying a plane ticket to Taiwan (and expecting me to tag along without telling me so that I can make business arrangements) and wanting to take the entire day for her errands and forbidding me from contacting who could've been my girlfriend or the taker of my first kiss.
   
   Then when I finally make it home, momma sees me on the front porch and comes chasing her away with a knife, saying that "I've spent too much time with her" then corners her and waves it in her face... "Listen you c**t, I don't want you around my son anymore. If I find you with him one more time, I'm going to kill you, are we clear?"
   
   So I storm my car out of the garage without even closing it (and it was still open when I got back after she was confirmed to be on the plane), then a whole host of friends and my dad warned me against going to Taiwan; my best friend called my dad crying, and even a psychic friend who knew nothing about the trip suddenly called me and warned me of impending danger... Then she called everything off up since she was scared for her life even though we're not BF/GF yet, but she can't imagine what it'll be like having her as a MIL. Then after my mom leaves, I discover a 24K gold heirloom ring, my watch and a bunch of things missing. Thanks, mom.
   
10. After that, I went no-contact for another 4 years. Instead of calling, emailing or anything, she decides to work her way back into my life in early 2013... By adding random people on my Facebook friends list, including my wealthiest friend and trying to seduce him (eww... Plus he's married and has a daughter) instead of talking to me directly...
    
    But after learning from past failures, I informed him of what's going on and he blocked her right away, then I decided to reluctantly open communications by getting a Google Voice line and a forwarding address in case she wants an address, but thankfully she isn't coming to the US any time soon.
    
    My dad was also battling severe depression; mostly due to flashbacks of him and my mom, as well as his current situation (he didn't plan his retirement at all plus medical problems), so he took his life on June 15, 2013. When my mom started trying to become a family member again, suddenly me taking my .45 and joining my dad seemed like a good idea (sarcasm)... But in all seriousness, my dad's death hit me pretty hard, so I fell into depression and didn't work until March 2014, but things were worsened by the fact that the first couple of jobs I got either severely underpaid me or had a good start that eventually ended in I.O.U.'s.
    
    Then in mid-2015, she wants me to come to Taiwan to take care of paperwork, or the same reason she tried to pull me from my business in 2011, but this time around I couldn't make it since I was living paycheck-to-paycheck and couldn't afford it; I even sent her a snapshot of my account balance of $250 at the time and instead of taking her generously-sized wallet out, she insisted that since I didn't go with her to Taiwan the last time [again, last minute at the worst timing], that I pay for it and she'll reimburse me, and to borrow from my friends for airfare (which most were either equally broke or didn't want to lend that big an amount).
    
    Instead of just taking my word for it when I can't get the money, she viciously insulted me in a family group chat, and I actually had to clear the air and re-block her. She wasn't happy that I dared to defy her, so we haven't talked since August 2015... Of course, she never shared her phone number or address, so the only way we used to talk was through LINE or Facebook, but she has blocked me on both.

I have almost no family left, and getting married and having children is my last hope for anything resembling an immediate family... My dad passed away, both my dad and I are only children so I have no aunts, uncles, brothers or sisters; only 2 grandaunts and 3rd cousins... The relatives I have in Taiwan almost never talk to me, so it's me against the world...

New Starts, New Lady

Hello all...

I know it's been a long while since I last posted, but it's been one depressing debacle after the other (you may read about it here, but you DO NOT have to donate anymore; I'm financially stable now and this is merely information I don't feel like typing again... You get the point)... But, things are looking good; every single problem on the dear-ol' Bimmer is now fixed, I'm going to be moving back to Orange County soon not just for my own sake since I miss it out there so much, but also since I do have a high-paying position out there and commuting 1.5 hours and leaving at 6:00 AM, then another 1.5 hours to come back to this place I lay my head down at (I don't even want to call it "home", but that's another story for another time) is getting old. FAST.

Anyway, per popular(?) request (so far it's about 5 people in my car forums), I've decided to do a play-by-play.

So, a girl named Nicole has popped into my life. Not just someone I recently met, but someone that I chit-chatted with about 4 years ago while visiting my dad in Portland, but never exchanged info.

Anyway, [cue Calvin Harris], when I met [her] in the summer... Of 2011, my dad was working at a vintage eyeglass dispensary in Pioneer Square (Erstwhile Opticians on SW Yamhill and 6th), I decided to chat with her while I was waiting for coffee at the nearby Starbucks (I know, I know; I'm a connoisseur, but I wanted an iced coffee RITE NAO!)... She was a student at PSU, or about 1/2 mile up the street, and we bonded over the fact that she was Asian and wore a Led Zeppelin shirt NOT because it was something she got from the thrift store...

Now mind you, almost all Asian girls I've met usually listen to Pop, Top 40 and Alt Rock like Maroon 5 or Panic at the most, and only 2-3 of my friends my age [that I know of] actually listens to classic rock, so imagine my surprise, eh? She officially became the coolest Asian girl EVAR. If it was today and she cooks decent meals, knows how to drive manual transmission and keeps a well-maintained car, I think I'd look like this:

I didn't consider exchanging numbers (dumb move), since I figured with a long-distance relationship that I really wanted for it to work out (but didn't), I'd avoid the headaches of LDRs and swore off dating anyone that lives beyond 30 miles from me ever again.

Fast forward to last Tuesday, ironically we meet at Starbucks again--this time in my neck of the woods; words cannot describe how surprised we both were!

And it goes a little something like this [HIT IT]...
Me: Excuse me, but you seem kinda familiar...
Her: Actually, you do too. I wanna say I've met you, but it was far away.
Me: Hmm, that's where it... [long pause] Wait... Have you been to Portland?
Her: Wow! I never thought I'd meet anybody from Oregon here!
Me: Hold up [pause]... HOLY SMOKES, you're that girl with the Led Zep shirt at Pioneer Square!
Her: [gasp] Oh my God, yes! [squeals and hugs me] how have you been?

...Then after some catching up, she agreed to a date! So excited!

Android, you disgust me sometimes.

Thanks for reading, and Happy Holidays. I say it generically to not start a war with all the non-religious people, so there's that.

WARNING: This is going to be a bunch of geek talk that I will not stop and explain, much unlike my previous blog post about FB Messenger. If you don't know what I'm talking about, Google is your friend. If you STILL don't know what I'm talking about, please steer away from this blog.

Anyway, I STILL don't get what the big deal with rooting is. People pay top dollars for phones, either getting stuck in a 2-year contract or paying $500+ for a hunk of metal, plastic, silicone and glass that lets you do all sorts of things... Except unlock your phone's true capabilities? Isn't blocking root going against the whole purpose of Linux, which is founded as an open-source operating system? Isn't that what Linus Torvalds wanted?

Also for the sake of example (I have none of these things, I swear... OK, minus having Linux and a VM of Mac once), if I can put a Corvette engine and solder a dragon's head onto my BMW 3-Series, put a fake dead hooker on my lawn and paint an [insert offensive organization's name] symbol on the side of my house, put Macintosh or (wait for it) Linux on my laptop and have the glowing HP logo superimposed to look like the Bat-Signal, why is it that the most I'm able to customize my most frequently used device is the wallpaper and perhaps a limited array of cheapy decorative shells from the mall?

Here's another example: Why is it that I can have an alarm, immobilizer and BMW Assist recovery tracking on my car that's hardwired into the car's computer system, ADT at my house that's hardwired into the household wiring and either have cops swarming the house or you'd have to pull some pretty hardcore ninja stuff to bypass the alarm, have a hidden theft recovery tracker AND have Intel Anti-Theft embedded into BIOS on my laptop... BUT NOT have a security solution that'll survive a factory reset? NOTE: I have no clue if there are any solutions without root, but I've been using Avast Anti-Theft, and Android Device Manager failed me the last time.

Why do I say this? I still have a Motorola DROID RAZR Maxx HD. Yes, it's from October 2012, 2 years and 2 months old as of Dec 26 or simply... Old as hell in Android terms since they seem to rapidly evolve (just for scale, my previous laptop was still able to keep up despite for 4 years, but I hope phone evolution stabilizes after I get the newer phones); I get it. I got it as an emergency, but the DROID Maxx was announced the very. Next. Month.

Even worse? I can't upgrade this thing since it's amazing that Verizon is willing to give me a loyalty bonus of doubling my data plan, but they can't just give me an early upgrade, meaning I have to wait until June 27, 2015 (2nd year to the day) to upgrade... And since I had an identity theft issue, I'm sure that further screwed up the credit that I was desperately trying to repair... And possibly any chances of upgrading via EDGE or early MORE plan. So I'm stuck unless I'm willing to drop $599.99 on a new phone.

Anyway, back to the main point. Why do I want root? It's simple... There's more enhanced battery managers (Greenify), I can get rid of the bloatware instead of simply disabling it, and most importantly since I got my tablet stolen from a [so-called] friend's car (he even showed me the police report and busted lock so it's legit)... He's being a weasel about replacing it and it's severely putting a hamper in my business since it comes in REALLY handy, and there are times where losing $2,000 of revenue is a very modest estimate, or GREATLY simplifying another task I had at hand... But anyway, that VERY important function is retaining anti-theft tracking after factory reset. Since the anti-theft is written into /system, it'll be harder for Mr. Thief to get away with stealing my stuff forever. I understand that someone can simply re-image my tablet, but will the average crook know this? Not too likely.

Also, why was it not until 4.2 (November 2012) that Android thought of multi-user on tablets? Because when I let my so-called friend, I forgot that I was lending a tablet that only came with 4.1.2 borrow it, and he happens to be the most paranoid person I've ever met. He's the same person that inspired me to write my previous FB Messenger debunkment blog post, and also a person that not only turns off all track requests for his phone (no GPS, no triangulation), but also has a sticker over the front-facing camera, and knowing his paranoia, probably disabled everything that makes theft recovery worthwhile on my tablet, and the Motorola Xyboard didn't have root options at all. Before you can say iPhone/iOS... Wait. It's ALMOST worth considering... ALMOST. Now their phones aren't as tiny and cutesy, plus their features are pretty much on the same league as Android. But not quite enough, sorry.

Now, what prompted me to post this, you ask? Well, it's pretty hard to mask the disappointment when your phone WAS rooted and survived a minor upgrade that closed the loophole that enabled root. Following bad advice, not knowing that this particular phone is no longer able to be rooted from scratch, I tried resetting the phone to install Lollipop since if Android and Motorola can't decide on whether or not to put Lollipop on this thing (or even 4.4.4 to at least fix the battery drain and Heartbleed issue), since I REALLY wanted to at least have ART on it since Dalvik was hanging a lot (my main hangup with keeping this phone, otherwise I'd use it into the next year, really), but ART almost made it worse (hence another reason I reset the phone)... Plus the enhanced security, multiple user/guest mode, Project Volta battery management, updated Material Design look-and-feel... In that order, but all stuff I want.

Anyway, hope some Google and/or Motorola exec sees this post and at least has a butterfly effect that'll say... Please don't bogart our right to root. Don't let Apple win the entire war with iCloud.

More on the Unnecessary Paranoia over Facebook Messenger

Seriously... If I had a dollar for every post I've seen bashing Facebook Messenger, or for every post telling people "I won't be able to check my messages because of FBM's policies, I have deleted it" and the supposed FBI/NSA/CIA/BLT involvement (which minus a BLT, I'm sure that they'd have other ways of accessing your information and already doing so... But that's another story), I wouldn't need any other source of income.

Facebook and Facebook Messenger
Permissions side-by-side

Comparison of FB, FBM, Hangouts, BBM and WeChat

First, Facebook's official app needs even more permissions, but I don't see anyone complaining about that. Other popular messengers including BBM, WeChat and Google Hangouts need about the same amount of permissions, and I don't see anybody complaining about that. I haven't included other major messengers/social networking services (e.g. Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp, LINE, etc.), but I'm sure it needs about the same amount of permissions.

Facebook has also been advertising Facebook Messenger for a long time to have enhanced features that supersedes just having the app alone, but only recently made it mandatory... Not to mention lots of other services have made their apps and messengers separate, like, China's Tencent has Qzone, similar to Facebook, QQ -AND- WeChat, BOTH messengers made by the same company... Doesn't make a lick of sense to me, but is anyone complaining en masse to Tencent or catching flights to China to protest this matter? Foursquare just spun off Swarm, but I don't see anybody making conspiracy theories, Google+ and Hangouts are separate (although let's face it, the user base isn't the same).

So folks, please put away the tinfoil hats. What if it was your own sibling/child/SO/BFF stuck somewhere with no cell service and only Wi-Fi, or your ghetto friend who doesn't believe in paying for cell service and your paranoia is so deeply encompassing that you don't get an important message until you turn your computer on (which for me is every 2 days)? What if that same message was his/her last words and your arrogance let him/her die in vain? Now THAT is the right kind of paranoia instead of worrying about something that FB has been doing and using all along!

Keep in mind a few things:

1. I am not playing devil's advocate; this is a neutral standpoint. I am writing this on my own observations and free will, not paid, endorsed or coerced by any company to do so.

2. The screenshots are UNMODIFIED from my own phone (Motorola XT926, 4.4.2, unrooted/unmodified OS. The ONLY PSing I did was stitch the screenshots together, change the contrast since there was a gradient effect and erased useless data such as total space occupied, clear cache button, etc.), using latest versions of each app available at time of writing (Aug 31, 2014 7:25 PDT). NO permissions have been added or removed.

3. All trademarks, logos and copyrights mentioned and implied are copyrights of their respective holders, and used for educational purposes. All rights reserved. Please don't sue me.

Please pass the word along if you're so inclined.

Now I'm officially convinced my girlfriend is an idiot!

Earlier this week, my girlfriend’s coworker decided the local shooting range would be the perfect backdrop for his photography class project. Since I know my way around firearms, I volunteered to lead the group. Most of her coworkers speak Mandarin and very little English, so I was translator and instructor rolled into one, but also everything said below aren't exact translations, but the closest English equivalent that captures the essence.

The trouble started before we even left the apartment. I explicitly told everyone to dress comfortably in clothes they didn't mind getting dirty, which I thought would be easy since they all worked in a warehouse. My girlfriend emerged in an elegant pink and white dress, a fresh face of makeup, and dangling earrings and refuses to change, then spends another 5 minutes perfecting her makeup, even asking me what earrings to wear, then I respond: "You DO know that you're wearing ugly goggles and earmuffs that cover everything, right? Let's go!" She ignores me and puts on a dangly set. To top it off, she threw on a pair of stiletto heels. Her coworkers rolled their eyes, and I even gave her tennis shoes to her. She tossed them in the corner with a dismissive, "Just go, everyone is waiting!" I was embarrassed, but I tried to make the best of it.

At the range, she was the ONLY one dressed to the nines; I should be proud... If she was only a spectator. The clerks gave me the ultimate "you have got to be kidding me" look. While checking in, I demonstrated some safety procedures while they were prepping the guns and ammo; a bit too advanced for regular shooting, but a clerk was impressed enough to ask for my number and offer me a job as a safety instructor for their Asian tourist clientele, plus they remembered who my dad was, an instructor for a shop that trained security guards, where we'd normally take new recruits for firearms certification... I got the HK USP .45 since it was my last gun before I sold it and I know it like the back of my hand, everybody else had a Beretta 92FS, and while I could get something that could humble my girlfriend, like a Casull or shotgun, the clerk and I agreed on some .22 revolver after I pointed out she was wearing heels.

Suddenly, the stakes were higher; now my reputation was on the line as a potential employee instead of a random visitor. I continued the safety lecture and proper technique, but while I was speaking, my girlfriend was glued to her phone, taking her own photos and looking at them, despite the fact that one of them had an SLR camera and promised to share the pics. I stopped mid-sentence and told her to put it away. "I'm listening," she claimed, before immediately texting someone. Out of patience, I snatched the phone. "Hey! We have live ammunition and real guns here that can kill people, not toys! If you want to die, don't do it here!" Instead of listening and realizing gravity of the situation, she caused a scene digging the phone out of my pocket.

It only got worse. While the rest of the group practiced safe handling, she points the gun at the lobby while posing. Clerks shouted and had their hands at their holsters, and customers ducked for cover while screaming... Then she says "what's everybody scared of?" I then drill down the gun safety rules again.

After all that, she points the gun at the wall, but this time at the coworker with the camera, still incorrectly clasping her hands. At this point the clerk was laughing, but I still didn't want to look like an idiot in front of the very person that is recommending a Safety Instructor job position. Not cashier, not the guy that rakes spent casings, SAFETY INSTRUCTOR!!!

As you can see above, I am NOT bluffing when I say that I was offered a job, with money for my license fees and all.

The final straw came when she posed by pointing the gun at her own head with her finger on the trigger, and the clerk tells me she's very close to getting kicked out. Livid, I yanked the gun out of her hand, dragged her outside firmly saying "I don't care if you don't listen to anything else, but the clerk just threatened to kick us out because you refuse to listen to life-or-death safety rules! (gets in her face and borderline yells) DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!?!?"

At this point, she finally somewhat understands the seriousness of the situation and nods, but not before one last slip-up... Once our numbers got called, she waltzes in without her earmuffs, and at this point someone in stall #10 (We have #11-13) is firing off a larger caliber bolt-action rifle, and she is freaking out and complaining about her ears ringing; shit, even my ears were hurting every time he shot a round WITH earmuffs. Umm... Did you hear ANYTHING in my instructions AT ALL?

Then comes the ultimate test: I finish my rounds and now it's her turn. Everybody else is going along just fine; the worst problem I've encountered was someone forgetting to turn the safety off. For her? Now she's beginning to realize she should've paid attention; she's scared as hell and wants to watch me fire off the first few rounds, so I did. She then reluctantly handles it and how is it held? STILL Clasping her hands despite giving her yet another crash course and pointing it towards the door! At this point, I exasperatedly train her again and she's giving me shit about yelling earlier (we're in the range, genius), then she fires off about 4-5 shots and cowers against the rear wall (with the gun pointed at me and her finger curled on the trigger no less and at least 2 rounds left, no less), so I ended the day with a silly deuce-deuce and I was doing my best not to invoke my right to self-defense, but too bad I already spent every round of ammo for the USP.

Still had a good time, but I’m still getting the silent treatment 2 days. She claims I embarrassed her in front of her coworkers (who are now calling her out at work, too). Even though I can be the bigger man and apologize for my actions, this is one thing I'm not sorry for, and people who know their way around guns will agree.I refuse to apologize since if I ever go shooting again, especially if conditions improve enough for me to buy another gun), I don't want the same careless mistakes to be made. When it comes to firearms, ego and vanity will get you killed. It's just like what this sign says:

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case.

Worst. Interview. Ever.

OK, I know it's taboo to badmouth a prospective employer, especially if I haven't been hired or rejected, but at this point I don't even care anymore. So, like I said in the previous post, my girlfriend drained my bank account just for a frickin' purse, so I have no backup funds as it is.

I should've listened to my instances of Murphy's Law that was starting to unravel and not waste my time with them. On Sunday, I took my trusty debit card to get gas... The pump won't work, and further attempts were getting declined since I later learned the issuer decided to put an authorization hold on the card in $100 chunks... Using the wrong ZIP code which was also making said declines pointless. So, I just roughed it through the day with a little over 1/4 tank (about 110mi) of gas. If you know Deutschwagens, E means 0 since the screen says "Fuel reserve!" at around 50 miles, not "OK, the needle is on E but you have about 30 miles."

Then, after struggling to go to sleep, I get out of bed at 3:30 AM for this ripoff telemarketing job selling low quality toners that most customers complain about at an extreme high price (the shift starts at 6 AM to catch East Coast business owners at 9 AM)... But act as if they're getting the deal of the century for Rolls Royce quality. Anyway,  I had lunch packed but forgot to bring it, forgot my TAP pass with a month's worth of bus fare on it, had zero money for lunch, then just when I thought I was making good time, I realized I forgot to shave when I was putting on my tie in the parking lot.

I rush home in Baldwin Park to shave, then my heart jumps out of my chest when my GPS tells me I am 10 minutes behind. Not good, but glad I called the hiring agency, despite the fact that once I hopped on the 5 it shaved 12 minutes off my ETA and would've been pointless. Anyway, the lady calls me back as I am only about 5 miles out to Irvine saying the owner had an emergency and had to go to Alhambra.

At this point, I already was thinking that I wasted all this time and gas money going 80 miles round trip out of my way, but whatever. I was so sick of waking up at 3:30 AM to rip off businesses for minimum wage that I decided to roll with it. So, again, I'm rounding the corner at 3 miles, and *RINNNG*. AppleOne again? Glad to know that she's asking about my arrival. Nope, like a game of Gingerbread Man, now the fool wants to meet in El Monte. Had I lived anywhere else I'd say bugger off, but he lived en route to home so I give this guy one last chance.

This time instead of relying on directions, I call the dude, and interestingly enough, HE asks ME how to get there. Now I figure this gingerbread man routine was probably some sort of test and I'll be rewarded with a $50 gas card and a pat on the shoulder telling me I'm hired, right? Nope, the dude genuinely sounded confused. So, after finally arriving in El Monte, he asks me to wait in the car as he's wrapping something up and "it'll only be 5 minutes". So I'm sitting there for half an hour, and then asks me what's nearby, so I rattle off a series of decent restaurants, but he settles on Del Taco. Oh-kay... Del Taco it is.

So, most of the "interview" is him staring at his computer and asking me questions, and everything he is asking me to do is mundane and a piece of cake. Sure, I haven't worked in the travel industry since 2007, but I'm very good at Excel, which was a strong prerequisite. Then he stares at his computer some more, and asks about Word and all that. I'm thinking: If you read my resume, I'm an IT Tech. I've even used OpenOffice, MS Works and ClarisWorks. So, he asks me about travel arrangements, and I've even mentioned since I have friends that don't speak English or are computer illiterate, I do this kind of thing all the time and have earned a Silver membership with Expedia; just 2 weeks prior I helped a friend book a flight to Denver, CO and last month I reserved a hotel in Vegas using reward miles!

For this one I was just about to flip my lid: "Do you personally know any tour guides?" I'm thinking, OK. I can do it myself; it's just telling a driver to go to tourist destinations, probably say 1 or 2 blurbs about it, and figure out some entertainment on a long ride. Of course, the last time I worked in the travel industry was 2007 and I've lost contact with a lot of people when my GMail got hacked and wiped out my contacts 4 years ago, and working at a wholesaler that relied on local guides or contracted from other companies, I never had their contact information, so I say no and explain it.

This is the hilarious part... "Well, I'll be honest, I need someone with more recent experience." REALLY?? I just used Excel, I just booked flights and hotels, who cares about my job experience? If you wanted someone who just quit, got fired or even searching for work from a current travel company, please don't waste my time from the get go!

Should I stay or should I go?

Dear Readers:
As you may have noticed, I mostly tend to blog when there are big decisions troubling me... There were a few posts I've made during significant events, as well as some that I honestly This time is no exception.

So far, I am faced with a tough decision: To stay with the one I'm with, or to find someone more compatible. For other life events, I will brief you in once I get the chance, but so far...

Not too long after the incident with "Jill", a family friend introduced me to someone that seemed compatible with me on many levels and I even left another girl that seemed very nice to be with her, but now I am starting to realize some of the levels are a bit too compatible or similar, and there are some levels that I am slowly losing patience for despite having some of these traits myself, which I guess serves as a hard lesson for me to change my act.

"Like it always happens", the first couple of months is when both people are on their best behavior, and you're seeing each other with rose-colored glasses, and "like it always happens" again, you can think you know someone until you move in together. So, we met towards the end of September, then we decided to become official on October 19. At the time, I was just happy to not be single anymore, especially since I had a lot of personal demons after my dad's death. Now, I am seeing a paradigm shift.

Despite the fact that I am usually reluctant to believe fortune tellers, they have revealed some truths with a certain degree of accuracy, like one approaching me and informing me that "someone very close to me may die next month"... Even though it took until 6 months when my dad passed, it was still very bizarre. With that, even though another psychic told me my future significant other may have no Asian genes, be blond-haired and blue-eyed (this will come in as a key later), and have a rough past in terms of relationships that will share lots in common. That has yet to be seen, but them Haoles seem cuter and more relatable by the minute.

Well, the latter proved itself very true... Her ex-husband was a performer known for being an extreme flop on national TV, a momma's boy and a 2-pump-chump in the sack, and her first boyfriend was always high on ecstasy and wasn't able to satisfy her, so that sounded bad enough for me... Anyway, at first, she was very affectionate and we seemed to have a lot in common, and I have learned a lot from her, including what has become my favorite way to fall asleep ;-), cooks, and even got me some income when I needed it the most. However, that is where the positives have ended so far.

The bad and first on my list? She is EXTREMELY lazy. I have thought I've met lazy (AKA me and my family), she takes the cake. Today, for example: We came home and slept at 11:30 PM, both woke up around 9:30 AM. She went out and got groceries, but then instead of following the GPS coordinates I punched in for Ralphs, she headed towards the 99 Cents Store; thank God she didn't buy food there... She went to Smart & Final instead. Reason? "It was closer". OK, like a quarter mile. So, I'm expecting an almost monstrous amount of groceries, with S&F being a smaller version of Costco after all... Nope, a box of Cup Noodles, corn oil (which most corn is GMO, which I'm an organic-if-possible person), a loaf of Texas Toast (or thicker-sliced bread), and jelly (the squeeze bottle to top it all off).

So, we ate, but then she didn't want to do the dishes, and since I was busy, neither could I. I had an important errand and had to leave in half an hour, then was prepared to come home, but not before she made me stop at the store for a few accouterments, so then I came home about 8:00 PM... After vegging out for a couple of hours, where I also learned that she took a nap for a while as well. After all that sleep, she should have enough power to move mountains right? Wrong. What's for dinner? Leftovers that I eventually had to throw in the microwave for the both of us. Any dishes done? Nope, so I had to take care of 70% of the dishes we had. Then, she was still hungry and wanted Cup Noodles. After cooking it, guess what? She fell asleep PROMPTLY and is snoring next to me as I am typing this. Funny, I had a reputation of being lazy, but if I can be up since 9:30 AM and only feel mildly tired at 11:00 PM, what does that make her?

Speaking of cooking, it was cool at first but now I can't stand it... She loves spicy foods. Don't get me wrong, my family is from Hunan, China and I therefore may have a gene that predisposes me towards spicy foods, but this takes the cake... Despite that, I eat fairly mild compared to that. In fact, I have had the same bottle of Sriracha since April, and a small jar of Lao Gan Ma lasted me 5 months before she devoured the last 1/4 jar in ONE WEEK, which would've served me until now (almost a year). In other words, I eat hot for the taste, not trying to win some competition... For the few things she knows how to cook, every meal she makes is 3 peppers away from becoming a challenge at a restaurant (e.g. the Orochon or Buffalo Blazin' Wings), and I don't remember when was the last time I ate a meal with her unadorned with a crapload of hot sauce. That, and she ONLY eats Chinese food; the most foreign food I've seen her eat was McDonald's and some salmon I've made (but you've guessed it, with 2 tablespoons of hot sauce).

Also, she is about as romantic as a bag of rocks. Not some red, lacey bag of polished stones. Just a dirt-covered plastic bag filed with jagged rocks. How so? She constantly jokes about having an affair or having me find someone else, but NYE came the ultimate test of patience: I had a bit of a financial miscalculation that only knocked me off course by $200, and then she tells me that she wants to sell her body to the streets. At first, I figured it was a lame joke and played along, but then it stopped being funny 8 minutes in and with the preceding in mind, I thought "holy crap, you can't be serious"... So then, she nonchalantly lets it escalate for another 15 minutes, or until I am absolutely convinced that she will be leaving for Las Vegas next week, livid and threw a mug on the floor yelling "IF YOU BECOME A BITCH, DON'T EVER SEE ME AGAIN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE OR I WILL SLAP YOU LIKE A PIMP, UNDERSTAND?", then we argue for about 15 minutes, then I'm sitting on the couch after downing an entire (small, portable sized, not the 750ml) bottle of wine in 20 seconds and furiously puffing on an e-cig that I only touch when I'm extremely stressed out (and keep in mind I haven't touched it since August) before she reveals that it was a joke.

So then, we somehow make up, but she leaves to go to a church for NYE, forfeiting another event I wanted to attend with her. So, instead of drinks and dancing, I finally pull up when I've sobered up and cleaned up at 11:30 PM, but it was a boring PowerPoint about what their church did over the past year, a few hymns and showing videos of countdowns around the world... Then they have the count down at 12:04 AM. WTF??? Also, with the fact that I've even hinted at it while visiting her at work where I told a factoid of kissing strangers not being illegal on NYE (not sure if it's true or not, just heard it somewhere), me having a short discussion the moment I arrived and even trying to "bribe" her $20 to forget about any conservative notions, I've always wanted to experience a new year's kiss. So, I'm trying to hold her at 11:59:40 PM, and she's squirming. Then I plead with her and lean in closer, then at the stroke of midnight, she's screaming as if I'm about to fucking rape her, and didn't even get a child's peck, and I've even pointed at the TV, which happens to show a couple making out on NBfuckingC TV.

Then of course, the superstition about not getting kissed kicks in... So not only does she not try to straighten it out, she still nonchalantly suggested I go kiss someone else. I got SO livid I just left... Then my friend takes me somewhere and completely runs out of gas... In a PRIUS!! For the average person, a blinking fuel light means "give me some gas, NOW!!", but for him, he has a bad habit of keeping his car barely above fumes every time. With that, we had to call for AAA. TWICE. First time, after waiting 45 minutes, the tow truck allegedly added 2 gallons, but the manual stated it needed 1.6 gallons to start, and the driver left before we can tell him we needed more. Since he left, we were told to make another request. Another half an hour by the side of the road before the hybrid system enabled the starter and the car finally started, and that's where I finally make it home at 4:30 AM.

Then, I realize after finally making it home that I lost my house keys, whereby I ironically took them off my chain with the intent of making a copy in case I lost them. Great. I had to climb up the side of the house and in through the patio since she didn't answer the door. After being drunk, stressed and even a little fearful of my life = MEGA fucking tired, she INSISTS on talking about the issue until 6:30 in the morning and every time we had spare time for the next 3 days, centered around breaking up.

Also, bad in bed (specifics withheld), hates kisses (only gives childish pecks on the cheek, pecks on the lip are rare and Frenching? Fuhgeddaboudit! Only once in a blue moon and even then it sucks!), REFUSES to take English-learning seriously and has ZERO initiative to learn, and like all Mainland Chinese in my opinion, a gold-digger.

So, since she has been obsessed with breaking up but not wanting to leave, this is almost becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. At first, even though I was THIS close to breaking up with her on the spot at the church and even went as far as changing my FB pic and felt lonely as she went about her day on 1/1, now her constant talks and now jokes about splitting up has got me thinking...

I'm serious that after what seems like a lifetime of desiring an Asian woman, I suddenly woke up wanting to date an American-Born Chinese or even White girl. Either way, I'm very torn right now, since what my girlfriend is doing now may set the tone for the future... If she is laying in bed and wanting me to do everything now, what will happen when we have kids?

Oh God... I can picture it now (EDIT: I even had a very similar nightmare 2 weeks later, but ends with dying of exhaustion and her attending my funeral via Skype since she can't be bothered to get out of bed). After eating the same frickin' things for 6 years in a row, I am exhausted from trying to keep our kids in check and getting them ready in the morning, while their mom, of course, became a housewife that does nothing and is still asleep despite my daughter having a tantrum and wanting mommy to do her hair, but mommy moans it off and my daughter starts screaming, and my son doing everything except get ready and she is still not willing to tag-team. So, I do the best I can, but still looks like a bird's nest, and looking at the time, I'm running late! So, I drop them off, scramble off to my grind and come home to her taking a nap. Dinner time comes around with her barely waking up to serve a bowl of noodles with half a ton of hot sauce for us, and bread and jelly for them since they can't take hot foods, while I'm on the verge of collapsing from a peptic ulcer from eating too much hot foods and 4 hours of sleep per night since the mom doesn't want to do anything and I'm left cleaning up after 3 people.

Even more? My ideal was to find a woman who can become a running mate of sorts, where I can have her co-manage a business. The business needs someone diligent and good at English, not someone who doesn't understand the word "text" when I say "我明天text給他" ("I'll text him tomorrow"), I have a personal preference towards speaking English and dislike translating stuff in general, and well... I've proven the lazy point many times. I love kissing, she hates kissing. I appreciate all foods, she likes Chinese only. I like rock music, she doesn't. However, she's my first true love and it still hurts to leave.

Your thoughts?

The one that got away...

"O spite! O hell! I see you all are bent
To set against me for your merriment:
If you were civil and knew courtesy,
You would not do me thus much injury.
Can you not hate me, as I know you do,
But you must join in souls to mock me too?"
-A Midsummer's Night Dream, William Shakespeare

Seriously, I am still scratching my head at all that happened over the past few weeks. So... I meet this lady, let's just call her "Jill". Although if you've been on my Facebook around those said few weeks, it's extremely apparent and obvious who it is, despite her requests that I keep it private and it being TOTALLY obvious that we were seeing each other (and IDGAF what she wants to call it after the fact, but any idiot looking at us would consider it going out), or VERY easy to assume at the very least, right now I don't care anymore. Just when I thought I was done with all the drama in my life, just when I thought I can FINALLY be happy with life for a change, and could work towards improving my moods and well-being after being so bogged down by my dad's stuff for 4 years (especially the past 2 months dealing with his death and all that), this shit had to fucking happen. Not to mention I've already had like, 8 people congratulate me thinking she was already my significant other. HA! Part of me fucking wishes that were the case, but another is kinda hesitant.

So, I've known her for 2 years, but I just more or less chatted with her and said hi when I was more active and able to attend events. Anyway, there was a beach event towards the end of July, and we just joked around a bit and hung around with each other more than anyone else. Then we hung out a few more times getting lunch, watching movies, walking down the beach, checking out some of the cool houses in upscale neighborhoods, and we were talking seriously about going on a mini-vacation together. You know the "men and women can't be friends" scene from When Harry Met Sally, right? Yeah. Even though she was not initially my type... I like East Asian women with at least shoulder-length hair and no kids since it's a lot to tackle after being single for so long, to... German / Indonesian with shorter hair. And a kid, but he's overseas. She just started growing more and more attractive to me by the day. Also no, don't finish the quote because it didn't happen.

So, for one brief fleeting moment, I thought I not only broke the curse of being single for 10 years, I thought I had a good frickin' chance of breaking through the "friend zone", which is seriously worse than hell in my book. You can amputate my arm inch by inch with a dull, rusty saw, but being turned down by a woman you like hurts more for me, and I've managed to date some serious babes; 2 were models and one chick was so perfect, it still hurts like hell that it didn't happen. I dunno, I'm probably overthinking this. After being single for 10 years, even a well-timed smile from a woman makes me fall in love like a motherfucker LOL.

So then, at the height of me being unavoidably smitten, she kinda brought me down to earth by pointing out a few character flaws. Even before she came along, it was stuff I was working on anyway... Not to blame him, but all the 4 years of listening to my dad play victim to everything in his life really took a toll on my mindset; I just finished LV107 and had a champion's mindset and was able to talk leadership as if it was second nature... Then it figured he had depression and took offense to EVERY leadership talk I had, and eventually I was so deep down the rabbit hole that I started thinking like him... But this time, I knew I had to step on it. I already decided overnight to regain my decisiveness and a bit of my confidence, but there were some traits that still lingered that pissed her off.

With that, she wanted me to watch a TV series, but the Wi-Fi genuinely was down at the place I was staying at as of the moment and I promised her I'd watch it when I'm back home. OMFG she got PISSED and started talking to me as if I was stupid... I was even having sushi with a friend who paid me to teach him how to use his new phone and he saw that I was very distraught. Then, after arguing for 24 hours, I sought a middle ground that worked well enough to at least let me meet with some people from Rose Hills in the morning so that I can finally let my father rest at nature, in peace... Instead of having his ashes sit on a shelf in my house; it's depressing to see his urn. It was a stressful talk and I don't know how I managed, but I managed.

Then, come afternoon my business partner only gave me 2 days to prove my work ethic, when I failed miserably by prioritizing other things in my life, so after a long phone call, he dropped me from his business. Good grief; by the way he kept talking to me over the past years I wouldn't want to work with him anyway, and I was already thinking I needed God's advice since my situation is hairy enough as it is, but I also promised her to not share certain details with anyone. So, not even half an hour later, Jill texts me and invites me to church.. Is this the power of The Secret or what??? Wrong.. This is where I'm STILL scratching my head wondering what went wrong to this day... I asked her when, but she doesn't say until after she's done with her congregation that she was just there. I casually mention that I would've gone had I knew, and here she goes going ABSOLUTELY LIVID again.

So, I followed a hunch, bought flowers and took her to lunch and a movie, despite the fact that it was über awkward, and made even more awkward by having her little friend sending texts critiquing me and made her question my motives. "Motives". "MOTIVES?!?" what kind of "motives" should I have when I genuinely want to keep the peace?? "Gauge him and see if he's sorry enough". "Sorry enough"? Listen Jeff, my grandpa was a Canadian citizen! We come from a nation where we not just apologize for everything, we apologize for apologizing too much, then keep apologizing when we realized that we did apologize too much! Also, did it ever occur to you that if I'm going out of my way to wine and dine someone that I'm trying my damnedest to make it up to her? Then, that night kept getting more and more awkward until I had to fight every nerve to not break into his house and beat him up and drop her off when I wanted to do more instead, like going to the arcades or some other outing. Shit man, I think it's funny of how much advice she follows from this schmuck when she talks so much shit about him behind his back.

Fast forward to Monday night, when my former business partner misinterprets Jeff's usual ass-kissing posts, which I do hope he realizes that if he wants to bogart Jill for himself that does NOTHING... I've tried that and it didn't work, and thinks that he's already sleeping with Jill. I was told on multiple occasions that she has no attraction with him whatsoever; "he's boring" "doesn't take good care of himself" "he's a slob"... Shit man, no kidding. Even looking at him, I kiss my $300 Prada glasses every time I put them on nowadays because his are frickin' retarded. There are doctor's offices that can let you have back-ups for $50, but for the last 4 months of seeing this ass-clown, he's been wearing glasses where it's broken on one side and awkwardly dangling on one end, and both lenses are held in place by crimping it... You do know that most optometries give away those little screws, right? Heck, they were $1 for a set of 50 screws. Anyway, I have Brokey McBroke-Ass here trying to act like some know it all when all I did was blow the whistle on my former business partner and we haven't really even talked since Saturday. What a fucking day.

Underneath it all, she's a nice lady, I fucking regret losing her after what little special moments we had, but I think that Brokey is making shit harder for me, when he's a fucking spineless wimp that probably never even held hands with her and trying to impress her with Denny's, pancakes, and sappy, long-winded kiss-ass posts in the hopes that she likes him that way. Sorry if you never liked Yard House, sushi, and what could've been organic homemade spaghetti I meant to cook for you (that I eventually ate for myself since the meat was starting to sit in the freezer too long). Anyway, with all that in mind, I do want to reconcile with her and pursue a relationship, but with all these fucked up things in mind, I feel like I'm beating a fucking dead horse, and with Jeff McBroke-Ass throwing me under the bus and cockblocking me, my chances and motivation of pursuing her are practically hopeless. Any thoughts, my dear readers?

Rumor-cleaning time...

Today is hilarious beyond all doubt... I've hearing all sorts of wacky rumors, some that almost hit home a little too much. Well, I BCC all 20 people I mail this to for spam prevention measures, but as a sales consultant, PR is everything and I have eyes and ears everywhere... I am not going to put those people on blast, but I am not going to let it slide either, nor do I want to address them individually in case I got another hater somewhere in this email that might be "just curious". However, those people know who they are and hope they realize that they are a traitor, scum of the Earth and even one who exhibited total disrespect for the deceased should be ashamed of yourself.

Rumor: "Ed is struggling and in a panic that Unemployment Insurance isn't going through, he's probably broke and scared out of his mind."
Answer: Nope, far from it. EXCLUDING probate estate and a settlement I won (which I would've gladly taken my old company to the cleaners if I didn't have to worry about my dad's final expenses), I currently have $2,200 NET of my own blood, sweat and tears bank AND GROWING. Gotta love residual income from the loans I closed. Would've been more, but I took this month off for bereavement leave. What about the things I excluded? The $300 left in the estate/funeral/donations trust fund for my dad and the $1,000 settlement I mentioned, $1,000 I have in savings (which I have savings for the first time in 3 years), $500 here and there, I have $5,000 NET (AKA after bills).

As I lived paycheck-to-paycheck and lived EXTREMELY frugally at MetroPyongyang*, (e.g. NO eating out, NO social life, NO rainy-day spending) and would still only have $150 left over every month with constant threats to FURTHER reduce my hours, I got $5,000 in 2 MONTHS VERSUS 2.75 YEARS!

Oh, and speaking of UI, I appealed for the sake of justice (not because I needed the money, not to mention I don't want a "failure to appear" on my record) AND WON. I'd return it to the state, but this is the funds that MetroPyongyang screwed me out of and I don't think I'm unfair in asking for a tiny $1,600 back... The appeal decision letter was HILARIOUS; I was CRACKING UP when it said "a reasonable person genuinely desirous of retaining employment would also quit under these circumstances faced by the claimant." In other words, the way I saw it, it means you'd have to be a deranged lunatic to work there! I asked them about my account balance, they said it doesn't concern them. I said "can I continue to work at PVF?" they said "as long as you don't work past x hours and report your income that's OK" However, It'll be too much if I actually continued to claim against it, so no further claims. Hope that $6,600 after 3 years of destitution doesn't make you choke on your Haterade.

Speaking of deranged lunatics, I love this one...

R: "Ed is psychotic and should be [on Prozac / in a mental institution / etc].
A: So wait, you didn't hear about the deplorable working conditions I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy? Are you taking my celebratory joke songs way too seriously? If I have evidence and SWORN affidavits (one even NOTARIZED) from 2 different witnesses/patients in hand for some of the problems that I had to face but was swept under the rug by the owner and someone who calls herself "the boss", let me ask you...

WHO IS THE PSYCHOTIC ONE NOW?

I am seriously baffled when I say that I can bring up a hazard or violation multiple times but have that ignored, but I get the full blame for a minor mistake that has someone else's initials on their certification worksheet, which if "the so-called boss" acted like an actual boss or the owner would take charge and work with the landlord to fix some of the problems after paying $$$$ in rent (I saw the lease agreement and am still surprised that they are low-balling MetroPyongyang), I wouldn't have had to done ANY of the reporting I did, and it's despicable to see that the only way it got resolved was me quitting, having a guilty conscience and resorted to telling the government about the problems of MetroPyongyang instead and not even being around to enjoy the fruits of my labor.

If I am crazy for wanting a safer, equitable workplace where everybody is equally respected instead of a hostile, unsafe environment where everybody hides behind their titles and tells their employees to mindlessly eat their s**t, please, I'd be HAPPY to put on that straitjacket and sit in that padded room for the rest of my life. Please also give me some Eskalith; Prozac won't do nothing for how crazy I must apparently be!

Actually come to think of it, I think the sewage gases spewing out of that place also kinda created an imbalance. After all, if I am getting dizzy, headaches, nauseous, irritability and experiencing short-term memory loss (all of which are proven side effects of Hydrogen Sulfide exposure) that ALL gradually went away the month after I quit, I'm sure part of the side effects of working for an oppressive totalitarian boss AND the H2S exposure ACTUALLY must've made me "psychotic!" After all again, what "reasonable person" would want to stay in this mess?

R: "His dad killed himself because of [something I did; I don't even want to say it]"
A: OK, wait a minute. Wait just ONE F$%*ING minute. Like I said in my last post, anybody who knew my dad for a sufficient length of time knew he had testicular cancer, a heart attack and diabetes. The cancer brought on a trauma, his heart attack needed meds but gave him all the negative side effects ever listed (including depression and thoughts of suicide), and diabetes that was left uncontrolled for so long, his blood sugar imbalances causes dementia. My dad was actually pretty proud of me even if what I did wasn't phenomenal, and it's sad that I just barely got the wheels lifted off the runway of my flight to success when he passed, especially when I promised him I'd send him $2,000 the week before he passed on and was even thinking of surprising him with $500-$1000 per month, a feat I would've NEVER been able to do at MetroPyongyang living paycheck-to-paycheck. At any rate, nothing would've saved him. In fact, I even subpoenaed his phone records and even the friend he talked to 4 HOURS before he shot himself said he was in good spirits and even planned on visiting him the next week, so this was definitely unpredictable.

Also again, I hope that the person that made the statement should learn how to respect the dead and go f#&k yourself, you insensitive a$$hat.

*For those that don't get the joke, Pyongyang is the capital of North Korea and the oppressive, totalitarian Commies with no regard for anybody's well-being I worked for was named Metropolitan Optometry.

Dad's Death

As you saw about 3 weeks ago, my father took his own life. Even worse, yesterday was supposed to be his 56th birthday. He had lots of trauma behind him; it all started when my grandma passed away on October 20, 2008; he was very close to her and took it very hard, and that was when he started experiencing flashbacks, but can still live a decent life. Then he had a heart attack due to an artery collapsing, but recovered nicely soon thereafter. However, for the next 2 years he's had physical exams that did a thorough check on him and haven't found any problems... Except his blood sugar; surprisingly no doctor has made it a point to check it.

Starting around spring of 2009, he started having these severe depression symptoms where he was constantly worried and stressed out even over the littlest things, saying hurtful things to me all the time (e.g. if I didn't pick up the phone he'd say stuff like "you don't care about me" and "I'm a worthless pile of crap, forget I ever existed")... This happened almost DAILY and any problem he'd have would last for over a week. Since he alienated most of his friends, not to mention at least twice a month there'd be something new to get upset about, I became pretty much the only pissing post he had, and that's a lot of pressure; I even started getting anxiety attacks whenever he'd say stuff like that...

It got to the point where he was such a downer that it started affecting my life, my way of thinking and my own problem-solving abilities went down. In fact, I too, have become so depressed that my life went to hell in a handbasket. I was making good money; I had a fully-furnished, plush apartment in Arcadia, the car that I've wanted that was going to be traded in for a BMW or Lexus (I haven't pulled the trigger on it, but at the time but I was leaning towards the Lexus IS-C)... Down to being so demotivated that I slept at 4AM on a regular basis, woke up around noon, stopped pursuing any form of income and lost everything... Oh, and the fact that I got wrongfully terminated from one job, laid off from another and ROYALLY screwed out of a business partnership didn't help either. It still hurts to think about it; it still hits me like a ton of bricks as if it happened yesterday, and the fact that one of my friends keeps trying to use this as a way to "punk" me into doing something or reminding me not to go down my old path all the fucking time doesn't help either. Anyway, that's besides the point.

So, they finally figured out that he had diabetes and his blood sugar was high enough for him to need hospitalization towards the middle of 2012... Also this is after he started experiencing the more severe of symptoms like frequent urination and blurred vision. So, he's been on diabetes treatment and things were starting to slowly go back to normal, although he would still tick over minor discrepancies or overreact to negativity, but it became only 1-2 days instead of 1-2 weeks.

Also at around this time, he decided to hand-build a trailer that became his home. I was praying that he'd get over this horrible disease and he seemed to have the upper hand, until the very morning of trying to enter a dispute with my former employers, I got an email from the county Medical Examiner's office, where I called back and they informed my my dad shot himself.

So far, with everything I said a few days ago in mind, life has gotten easier in certain ways, but in other ways it's harder. Life is harder in the sense that now more than ever, I do feel a bit alone. Sure, I found new relatives I didn't know I had, more friends are talking to me and reaching out more, and I'm not constantly worried about my dad anymore (which is making me move mountains in my life), but also it's harder in the sense that now I am more easily agitated since I am still coping, and having to sift through his paperwork, file legal documents and all this stuff is a lousy experience... I didn't know that the death of a family member was this complicated.

But anyway, here's to your memories. I even crawled up extra early and went to our favorite breakfast joint and ordered your favorite breakfast. Steak & Eggs, sourdough bread, eggs over-medium with coffee.

Anyway, it's getting late so I think it's best if I end it on this note.