Should I stay or should I go?

Dear Readers:
As you may have noticed, I mostly tend to blog when there are big decisions troubling me... There were a few posts I've made during significant events, as well as some that I honestly This time is no exception.

So far, I am faced with a tough decision: To stay with the one I'm with, or to find someone more compatible. For other life events, I will brief you in once I get the chance, but so far...

Not too long after the incident with "Jill", a family friend introduced me to someone that seemed compatible with me on many levels and I even left another girl that seemed very nice to be with her, but now I am starting to realize some of the levels are a bit too compatible or similar, and there are some levels that I am slowly losing patience for despite having some of these traits myself, which I guess serves as a hard lesson for me to change my act.

"Like it always happens", the first couple of months is when both people are on their best behavior, and you're seeing each other with rose-colored glasses, and "like it always happens" again, you can think you know someone until you move in together. So, we met towards the end of September, then we decided to become official on October 19. At the time, I was just happy to not be single anymore, especially since I had a lot of personal demons after my dad's death. Now, I am seeing a paradigm shift.

Despite the fact that I am usually reluctant to believe fortune tellers, they have revealed some truths with a certain degree of accuracy, like one approaching me and informing me that "someone very close to me may die next month"... Even though it took until 6 months when my dad passed, it was still very bizarre. With that, even though another psychic told me my future significant other may have no Asian genes, be blond-haired and blue-eyed (this will come in as a key later), and have a rough past in terms of relationships that will share lots in common. That has yet to be seen, but them Haoles seem cuter and more relatable by the minute.

Well, the latter proved itself very true... Her ex-husband was a performer known for being an extreme flop on national TV, a momma's boy and a 2-pump-chump in the sack, and her first boyfriend was always high on ecstasy and wasn't able to satisfy her, so that sounded bad enough for me... Anyway, at first, she was very affectionate and we seemed to have a lot in common, and I have learned a lot from her, including what has become my favorite way to fall asleep ;-), cooks, and even got me some income when I needed it the most. However, that is where the positives have ended so far.

The bad and first on my list? She is EXTREMELY lazy. I have thought I've met lazy (AKA me and my family), she takes the cake. Today, for example: We came home and slept at 11:30 PM, both woke up around 9:30 AM. She went out and got groceries, but then instead of following the GPS coordinates I punched in for Ralphs, she headed towards the 99 Cents Store; thank God she didn't buy food there... She went to Smart & Final instead. Reason? "It was closer". OK, like a quarter mile. So, I'm expecting an almost monstrous amount of groceries, with S&F being a smaller version of Costco after all... Nope, a box of Cup Noodles, corn oil (which most corn is GMO, which I'm an organic-if-possible person), a loaf of Texas Toast (or thicker-sliced bread), and jelly (the squeeze bottle to top it all off).

So, we ate, but then she didn't want to do the dishes, and since I was busy, neither could I. I had an important errand and had to leave in half an hour, then was prepared to come home, but not before she made me stop at the store for a few accouterments, so then I came home about 8:00 PM... After vegging out for a couple of hours, where I also learned that she took a nap for a while as well. After all that sleep, she should have enough power to move mountains right? Wrong. What's for dinner? Leftovers that I eventually had to throw in the microwave for the both of us. Any dishes done? Nope, so I had to take care of 70% of the dishes we had. Then, she was still hungry and wanted Cup Noodles. After cooking it, guess what? She fell asleep PROMPTLY and is snoring next to me as I am typing this. Funny, I had a reputation of being lazy, but if I can be up since 9:30 AM and only feel mildly tired at 11:00 PM, what does that make her?

Speaking of cooking, it was cool at first but now I can't stand it... She loves spicy foods. Don't get me wrong, my family is from Hunan, China and I therefore may have a gene that predisposes me towards spicy foods, but this takes the cake... Despite that, I eat fairly mild compared to that. In fact, I have had the same bottle of Sriracha since April, and a small jar of Lao Gan Ma lasted me 5 months before she devoured the last 1/4 jar in ONE WEEK, which would've served me until now (almost a year). In other words, I eat hot for the taste, not trying to win some competition... For the few things she knows how to cook, every meal she makes is 3 peppers away from becoming a challenge at a restaurant (e.g. the Orochon or Buffalo Blazin' Wings), and I don't remember when was the last time I ate a meal with her unadorned with a crapload of hot sauce. That, and she ONLY eats Chinese food; the most foreign food I've seen her eat was McDonald's and some salmon I've made (but you've guessed it, with 2 tablespoons of hot sauce).

Also, she is about as romantic as a bag of rocks. Not some red, lacey bag of polished stones. Just a dirt-covered plastic bag filed with jagged rocks. How so? She constantly jokes about having an affair or having me find someone else, but NYE came the ultimate test of patience: I had a bit of a financial miscalculation that only knocked me off course by $200, and then she tells me that she wants to sell her body to the streets. At first, I figured it was a lame joke and played along, but then it stopped being funny 8 minutes in and with the preceding in mind, I thought "holy crap, you can't be serious"... So then, she nonchalantly lets it escalate for another 15 minutes, or until I am absolutely convinced that she will be leaving for Las Vegas next week, livid and threw a mug on the floor yelling "IF YOU BECOME A BITCH, DON'T EVER SEE ME AGAIN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE OR I WILL SLAP YOU LIKE A PIMP, UNDERSTAND?", then we argue for about 15 minutes, then I'm sitting on the couch after downing an entire (small, portable sized, not the 750ml) bottle of wine in 20 seconds and furiously puffing on an e-cig that I only touch when I'm extremely stressed out (and keep in mind I haven't touched it since August) before she reveals that it was a joke.

So then, we somehow make up, but she leaves to go to a church for NYE, forfeiting another event I wanted to attend with her. So, instead of drinks and dancing, I finally pull up when I've sobered up and cleaned up at 11:30 PM, but it was a boring PowerPoint about what their church did over the past year, a few hymns and showing videos of countdowns around the world... Then they have the count down at 12:04 AM. WTF??? Also, with the fact that I've even hinted at it while visiting her at work where I told a factoid of kissing strangers not being illegal on NYE (not sure if it's true or not, just heard it somewhere), me having a short discussion the moment I arrived and even trying to "bribe" her $20 to forget about any conservative notions, I've always wanted to experience a new year's kiss. So, I'm trying to hold her at 11:59:40 PM, and she's squirming. Then I plead with her and lean in closer, then at the stroke of midnight, she's screaming as if I'm about to fucking rape her, and didn't even get a child's peck, and I've even pointed at the TV, which happens to show a couple making out on NBfuckingC TV.

Then of course, the superstition about not getting kissed kicks in... So not only does she not try to straighten it out, she still nonchalantly suggested I go kiss someone else. I got SO livid I just left... Then my friend takes me somewhere and completely runs out of gas... In a PRIUS!! For the average person, a blinking fuel light means "give me some gas, NOW!!", but for him, he has a bad habit of keeping his car barely above fumes every time. With that, we had to call for AAA. TWICE. First time, after waiting 45 minutes, the tow truck allegedly added 2 gallons, but the manual stated it needed 1.6 gallons to start, and the driver left before we can tell him we needed more. Since he left, we were told to make another request. Another half an hour by the side of the road before the hybrid system enabled the starter and the car finally started, and that's where I finally make it home at 4:30 AM.

Then, I realize after finally making it home that I lost my house keys, whereby I ironically took them off my chain with the intent of making a copy in case I lost them. Great. I had to climb up the side of the house and in through the patio since she didn't answer the door. After being drunk, stressed and even a little fearful of my life = MEGA fucking tired, she INSISTS on talking about the issue until 6:30 in the morning and every time we had spare time for the next 3 days, centered around breaking up.

Also, bad in bed (specifics withheld), hates kisses (only gives childish pecks on the cheek, pecks on the lip are rare and Frenching? Fuhgeddaboudit! Only once in a blue moon and even then it sucks!), REFUSES to take English-learning seriously and has ZERO initiative to learn, and like all Mainland Chinese in my opinion, a gold-digger.

So, since she has been obsessed with breaking up but not wanting to leave, this is almost becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. At first, even though I was THIS close to breaking up with her on the spot at the church and even went as far as changing my FB pic and felt lonely as she went about her day on 1/1, now her constant talks and now jokes about splitting up has got me thinking...

I'm serious that after what seems like a lifetime of desiring an Asian woman, I suddenly woke up wanting to date an American-Born Chinese or even White girl. Either way, I'm very torn right now, since what my girlfriend is doing now may set the tone for the future... If she is laying in bed and wanting me to do everything now, what will happen when we have kids?

Oh God... I can picture it now (EDIT: I even had a very similar nightmare 2 weeks later, but ends with dying of exhaustion and her attending my funeral via Skype since she can't be bothered to get out of bed). After eating the same frickin' things for 6 years in a row, I am exhausted from trying to keep our kids in check and getting them ready in the morning, while their mom, of course, became a housewife that does nothing and is still asleep despite my daughter having a tantrum and wanting mommy to do her hair, but mommy moans it off and my daughter starts screaming, and my son doing everything except get ready and she is still not willing to tag-team. So, I do the best I can, but still looks like a bird's nest, and looking at the time, I'm running late! So, I drop them off, scramble off to my grind and come home to her taking a nap. Dinner time comes around with her barely waking up to serve a bowl of noodles with half a ton of hot sauce for us, and bread and jelly for them since they can't take hot foods, while I'm on the verge of collapsing from a peptic ulcer from eating too much hot foods and 4 hours of sleep per night since the mom doesn't want to do anything and I'm left cleaning up after 3 people.

Even more? My ideal was to find a woman who can become a running mate of sorts, where I can have her co-manage a business. The business needs someone diligent and good at English, not someone who doesn't understand the word "text" when I say "我明天text給他" ("I'll text him tomorrow"), I have a personal preference towards speaking English and dislike translating stuff in general, and well... I've proven the lazy point many times. I love kissing, she hates kissing. I appreciate all foods, she likes Chinese only. I like rock music, she doesn't. However, she's my first true love and it still hurts to leave.

Your thoughts?